A Better World
Thursday, July 20, 2006 at 09:33PM When you're the parent of a three year old, you're living in a world that exists somewhere between reality and fantasy.
Part of that world is not unlike the one you knew before. There's still the evening news with nothing but bad news. There's still a job to do so that you can pay the bills. And there are still cooking and cleaning to do back at home. But all of these seem just a little more complicated now that there's a kid in your world. The bad news on the evening news makes you fret over the world that he will grow up in. Getting to your job and doing the cooking and cleaning are not as easy as they once were because, well, there's that little gremlin always to deal with, tugging at your legs.
But the other part of the world is filled with fairy tales and swashbuckling adventures. It's a pretty cool place, filled with all that wide-eyed wonder and innocence that is childhood but tempered by the knowledge and experience that comes with age.
Years ago, I'd kicked out of my life the likes of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. All because they weren't real. What a terrible thing to do.
But now, thanks to The Kid, they're back, and my world is a better place for it. They're no more real than they were before, but they are to my son. So, even though I know that they don't exist, I act as if they do.
All parents live in this fantareality world. Getting to see the world through a child's eyes is perhaps the greatest gift an adult can get. Because it opens the door to a world that you once lived in but which had been closed to you for much too long. You can once again believe in the unbelievable. The impossible can become the possible.
Vacations are not the same as they were before you became a parent. Captain Hook is not just a Disney employeee in costume but is actually the Captain Hook. And the tick-tock you hear is not your own alarm clock at your bedside but is inside the belly of an oversized hungry crocodile.
Jousting at the Bristol Renaissance FaireWeekend excursions are not the same, either. The knight on horseback at a Renaissance faire is not just an actor but is truly jousting for king and country. And when he raises his lance in victory, you cheer because of the skill and daring he has displayed and not because he is following a staged script. Sure you know that the competition is fixed and that the winner is predetermined, but you pretend that it is not.
A Disney cruise and a Renaissance faire are not things that I would have done before I became a parent but they are things that I do as a parent because they are the world that my son lives in. It is a much better world than the one that I knew before he came along, and I feel fortunate that he has reintroduced me to it.
Just a year ago The Kid wanted nothing more than to grow up to be a chimney sweep, just like Bert (Dick Van Dyke) in Mary Poppins. But that life's aspiration went up like a puff of smoke. And not just because he figured out that it was a job that required cleaning, a task that for him falls on the disagreeable scale somewhere between walking and bathing.
No, what happened is that he discovered his true life's calling is to be a knight in shining armor. He foresees a world where he'll get up in the morning, slip into his armor, and go off to work, a sword in his belt and a lance in hand, as a knight. His days will be spent jousting, guarding the castle and protecting his king.
You know that one day, not too far in the distant future, he will wake up with the knowledge that there are no jobs for knights in the world today. Only ones for actors whose job it is to put on a knight costume and a good show.
That's part of life, part of growing up.
You wish it didn't have to come to that. The world today could use a few good knights in shining armor.
I'm just thankful that I have a son who lets me live in a world where they still exist.
Reader Comments (2)
Seriously now...you make sooo much sense here! I LOVED the column, and its so true, I'm enjoying the fantasy life all over again with my nephew and nieces ages 4-9. Tyler can come to my rescue on his white horse any day! Thanks so much for sharing.
BUT, we do have a 3-year old little girl who aspires to be Mulan, save China from the Huns and be "the biggest, bestest hero ever!"
Great blog, Randy - I too am glad to have been invited back into the world of the impossible. It IS a wonderful place to be.